When Our Child Becomes Nocturnal

Over the last few weeks, James’ sleeping pattern has significantly altered. Previously, he would be helped to settle in bed at around 10pm to 10:30pm, might be awake for a little longer, but then would sleep through the night until the next morning, typically waking up around 8am.

More recently, he has developed a pattern of still going up to his bed at the same time, but perhaps an hour or so later (can be shorter, can be longer) he returns back downstairs to his den, wide awake and wanting to do things. All the lights go on and we’re all awake. On a good night, this foray downstairs might last 30 minutes and then he is back upstairs to bed again. On a more difficult night he might be up and down the stairs several times until 3am or so in the morning. He then is still asleep at 10am or later the next morning.

So, why has this change occurred, and what if anything can we do to help reset James’ sleep clock back to a more typical time?

Lots of suggestions are being considered at the moment, and these include:
– James doesn’t have enough physical exercise during the day to tire him out.
– He wants the attention that coming back downstairs brings.
– He has developed a fear of the dark (when he returns to his bedroom, he puts the light on there, and this stays on until he falls asleep).
– There is something hormonal going on.
– Or, like many 21, almost 22, year olds, he prefers being up at night and sleeping in during the morning!

Of course, it could be a combination of these, or something else entirely! As James has very limited communication, and almost no verbal communication, it is hard to get any clues from James himself, so we have to work with what we can figure out.

Medication to help James’ sleep has been suggested, however James typically won’t take medication unless it is given covertly, and it is hard to find a way to deliver suitable medication in the evening, at a time that he doesn’t expect to eat or drink. A suggested medication added to a drink tastes really bitter and was spotted and refused straight away by James.

So, what else can we do to help James reset his clock. Well, there are a few ideas:
– Increase James’ activity during the day to try and wear him out (not easy, but we’re starting with this).
– Hard though it is, don’t give James attention when he comes downstairs, so it is less of an appealing prospect (he gets lots of attention during the day anyway!)
– Fit a very low wattage bulb in his bedroom so there is light there, but not too much to stop him sleeping.
– Develop a routine where we get James up to his bedroom a little earlier, give him the option of one trip downstairs for a short activity, but then straight back up to bed afterwards (hopefully by around 11pm).
– Continue to explore if there is a medical option to help, either by understanding if hormones are part of this and/or whether there is a form of medication that James might be able to take.

And, of course, to pray. We need a breakthrough here as sleep deprivation is affecting us all and long term the way things are is unsustainable. God knows this, so we trust in him. Todays Bible verse was Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” A suitable verse for us today!

If you journey with a nocturnal child (of any age) who is up in the night on a regular basis, I know how hard that journey is, I understand and empathise with you. It may help you to know next time you are up in the early hours that you are not alone, I may well be up with James too.

Let us do all we humanly can to help our precious children, while also putting our hope in the Lord, as Paul encourages us to do in these words from Ephesians; “Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.” (Ephesians 3:20-21, NIV)

Sleep well!

Mark

See also:
Why Additional Needs Parenting Is Like A Circus
https://theadditionalneedsblogfather.com/2019/05/23/why-additional-special-needs-parenting-is-like-a-circus/

Other images by Doğukan Şahin and Alexander Grey on Unsplash